Marion stayed for the afternoon with Aineytta, but her
heart wasn’t in it, and in truth, she was glad to go home after
tea.
Kristoph wasn’t back. Caolin confirmed that as soon as she came
into the hallway. She told him to ask cook to prepare dinner for the usual
time and then called one of her personal maids to see to Rodan’s
afternoon nap.
She went up to the master bedroom, wearily. She kicked off her shoes and
laid herself down on the bed. She looked up at the moulded ceiling and
then turned on her side and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to
look at the ceiling. She didn’t want to look at anything. She wanted
to shut everything out and not think about it.
Except she had thought of nothing else all afternoon and she couldn’t
get it out of her head.
Aineytta didn’t believe it of him. Of course she didn’t.
Marion didn’t believe it.
But she couldn’t think of any other reason why Kristoph was visiting
Valena d’Arpexia and neither could his mother.
She felt let down and betrayed, by the one person she never would have
imagined letting her down.
She told herself she was being silly, that Kristoph couldn’t possibly
be doing anything like that.
But then all kinds of thoughts came into her head.
She was Human. Valena was a pure blood Gallifreyan, and perhaps she could
offer him more than she could.
She always thought their love life was satisfying to them both. But then
again, was it satisfying for Kristoph? She sometimes thought when they
made love that he was holding back. Did he have urges that she couldn’t
satisfy?
Was Valena d’Arpexia giving him the satisfaction she couldn’t?
She dismissed the idea. He loved her. And he believed in the sanctity
of those vows that they made at their Alliance. So even if he was feeling
frustrated in some way that he had never confessed to her, surely he wouldn’t
betray her in that way?
But then….
She remembered some of the most obscure words of the Alliance vows, the
arcane words that everyone told her not to worry about. They were just
words. Nobody took them seriously on modern Gallifrey.
But those words said that their Alliance was binding and insoluble unless
she failed in her first duty as a wife – to produce an heir. In
that case, she could be set aside and her husband free to choose a woman
who could ‘bear his fruit’ as the arcane words suggested.
Before the Alliance, she had talked to Lily and Aineytta and her other
friends about it. They had all assured her that it was nothing to worry
about. The practice of setting aside wives and taking another for the
purpose of assuring the family line had been abandoned long ago. Lily
pointed out that she, herself would have been abandoned by her husband
in that case, since she was barren. It just didn’t happen any more.
But it could, she reasoned. The words WERE in the Alliance. They WERE
binding.
He COULD do that.
No, she reasoned again. He wouldn’t. Surely not without telling
her there was a problem, anyway! Surely Gallifreyan wives were not pushed
aside just like that, without any inkling that it was going to happen.
Surely Kristoph wouldn’t do that to her.
No, he wouldn’t, she told herself. He loved her. He told her that
every day. He told her it passionately every night when they made love.
And after all, he had decided it was too soon to think about trying again.
If he wanted to, then all he had to do was ask. She would be ready any
time he wanted to try to conceive again. She would give him the heir she
knew he wanted. He didn’t have to look to another woman for that.
A stab of jealousy pierced her heart as she thought about it. Valena d’Arpexia
was young for her kind. She was healthy. She would produce a strong, healthy
Gallifreyan child. There would be no question of watered down blood. Kristoph
would have what he wanted, and, indeed, as the patriarch of the House
of Lœngbærrow, what he needed.
But pure blood hadn’t mattered to him when they married. He had
assured her that her child would be a Gallifreyan child, that he would
be equal to the pure-born children of other Houses. He told her that the
idea of ‘watered blood’ was nonsense, and only fools believed
it.
And besides, she reasoned with herself, she knew she would bear him a
child. Li had told her. She had seen him in the Pool of Foretelling at
New Year. That handsome young man with the brown eyes and dark, curling
hair who became a Time Lord in the fullness of time and regretted that
she was not there to be proud of him - he was their future child. It would
happen.
So why wouldn’t Kristoph wait to see that future unfold? Why would
he want to do anything so cruel to her?
If it wasn’t about that, then it came back to the first thought.
She didn’t satisfy him and he was seeking fulfilment with a woman
of his own kind who was equal to his vigorous lovemaking.
But if that was so, then he was not only breaking the solemn and binding
vows of their Alliance, but also the law of Gallifrey. Adultery was still
a crime. It was punishable by…
She opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling in shock.
It was punishable by a public flogging and possibly even imprisonment.
Her blood froze as she thought of Kristoph taken from the Chancellery
Guard detention centre in the Capitol and brought to the place of punishment,
tied to a frame, his back exposed for the scourging whips to rip it to
shreds. Of course, his body would mend. He was a Time Lord, after all.
The wounds would heal within the hour. But the shame of his punishment
would be with him forever. His position as High Magister, the respect
he commanded as the patriarch of a noble Ancient House, a descendent of
one of Rassilon’s own twelve sons, would be destroyed.
And what would she do? What was she supposed to do? Was she supposed to
forgive him, was she supposed to carry on living as husband and wife,
for the sake of appearances, or should she leave him?
The last thought cut her deeply. Leaving Kristoph, going back to Earth,
never seeing him again, was too terrible to think of. She loved him dearly.
If she was allowed, she would forgive him. Yes, she would.
But it would be hard.
Tears came. They had been coming ever since the disappointing visit to
Athenica. She had done her best not to break down in front of Aineytta,
even though that gentle woman would not have thought any less of her.
She had held it in.
But now, she cried. She buried her head in the pillow and cried miserably,
convinced that her world was crumbling around her.
Somewhere in the midst of the tears, she fell into a troubled
sleep.
Kristoph came home at a little after five. Caolin was there
to take his coat, and he went straight to the white drawing room, where
he expected to find Marion as she almost always was if she had not arranged
to have tea with one of her friends. He was surprised to find the room
empty. He stepped into the day bedroom, which served as a nursery for
Rodan. The child was napping in her day crib, and there was a maid sitting
beside her, reading a book.
“Madam was feeling tired and went to bed,” the girl said when
he asked. Kristoph didn’t bother to ask anything else of her. He
looked at Rodan and saw that she was sleeping easily, and left her in
the care of the maid. He went upstairs to the bedroom he had shared with
Marion since they returned from their honeymoon. She was asleep on top
of the counterpane, still in her day dress. She looked unusually pale,
though. He put his hand on her forehead and she did seem a little feverish.
He wondered if she was coming down with something. He was always a little
worried about that. They had travelled to so many different places lately
and mixed with all kinds of species, and then come back here to Gallifrey
where most people were immune to almost every illness it was possible
to get - every illness she was vulnerable to.
He wondered if he ought to call a physician to look at her. But since
very few Gallifreyan physicians knew anything about Human illnesses it
would probably be pointless.
He decided to let her sleep for now. A little bit of rest was probably
all she really needed. He would see how she was at supper time.
Meanwhile he leaned over and kissed her cheek and then left her in peace.
He went down to his study and carried on with some work for a while. Caolin
brought him a pot of herbal tea but he was so engrossed in the case notes
from his morning dispensing justice that he let it go cold.
The next time he looked up from his papers, Caolin had returned to tell
him that dinner was ready.
“Is her Ladyship awake yet?” he asked.
“No, sir,” Caolin replied. “Shall I send a girl to wake
her?”
“No,” he answered. “Let her sleep. I will be in the
dining room in a few minutes. Have a tray brought up to the bedroom later.”
He ate a quiet dinner. It felt wrong. He was used to enjoying the evening
meal with Marion. She always talked enthusiastically about her day. He
told her as much as he was able about his own work. She understood that
much of it was confidential and didn’t press him about it.
After he had eaten he went again to the nursery and found Rodan awake
now and playing happily under the supervision of the maid. He sat on the
floor and enjoyed a game with her for a while. Then he left instructions
with the maid to make sure his fosterling got her supper and went to bed
at the proper time.
He went up to his bedroom again. Marion still seemed to
be asleep. She was still pale and a little feverish. He found her nightdress
and gently undressed her and put her into it, then laid her in the bed
properly. He kissed her again and quietly left the room. He went downstairs
to the library and read for a few hours before bedtime.
Marion was awake when he came to bed at a little after
eleven o’clock. But she pretended to be asleep, still. She heard
him go to the bathroom and run his shower. She heard him drying and putting
on his pyjamas and then she felt him getting into bed. He reached out
his arms around her and kissed her cheek. She heard him whisper goodnight
to her.
She kept her eyes closed and carefully cleared her mind of all those thoughts
that had haunted her all day. She didn’t want him to know what was
worrying her. She didn’t want him to know that she knew.
When she was sure he was asleep she sighed softly and turned over in the
bed, facing away from him, and tried not to cry again as exhaustion took
her over and she fell asleep.
Kristoph lay awake a little longer, wondering what was wrong with Marion,
wondering what had made her unhappy, and what he could do to make her
feel happy again.
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