The Doctor looked at Rose. She was sitting on one of the White House sofas
repairing the loose button on his jacket, a curiously domestic thing for
her to be doing. He couldn’t help thinking that when a woman decided
to sew things for a man there was only one future scenario for them both.
And would that be a bad thing?
No, it wouldn’t, if he was any other man in the universe. He could
think of nothing more wonderful than for her to be his in every sense
of the word. But for him… it was impossible. And that hurt him more
than he would ever let on to her.
Rose finished the sewing job and took his jacket back to him. Somehow,
without it, he looked wrong. He had been wearing the jacket the day she
met him and every day since except when they had been in specific periods
of time where he would have looked TOO strange. He always changed back
as soon as he had the chance.
They had spent the past three weeks on the island of Tahiti, where he
took her to meet an old friend of his, the painter Paul Gauguin. Rose
had spent the whole time in a bikini and a silk sarong, being painted
in bright impressionist colours by day and walking on the seashore with
The Doctor by the twilight, watching colourful native ritual dances under
the moonlight. The whole time he had worn his same black outfit as if
it was rainy Manchester rather than a tropical paradise.
But that was him and she wouldn’t have him any other way.
She held the jacket out to him and he slipped it on with a smile, transferring
his sonic screwdriver to the inside pocket where it belonged and the TARDIS
key and various other bits and pieces to the other pockets.
“That’s better,” he said with a smile, kissing her on
the cheek. “That button’s been like that since the Autons
grabbed me in the Nestene lair under the Millennium Wheel. The first time
you were there for me.”
“Yeah,” she smiled. “Been a long time since then.”
She glanced at her watch, intending to work out how long it had been.
“Oh….”
“What’s wrong?” The Doctor asked seeing the expression
on her face change so suddenly.
“Can you take me home?” she asked. “Straight there,
no getting lost, to the date it ought to be by MY real time… November
6th, 2008.”
“You want to go home?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“For good?” There was something in her face that froze him.
Could it all be over so easily. “Rose….”
“Oh, no, not…. No, I don’t mean that. For a Time Lord
you’re lousy at dates aren’t you? Tomorrow is the anniversary
of when my dad died. I want to be with my mum when she goes up to the
cemetery.”
“Oh, of course.” He tried not to sound too relieved. “You’re
right about the dates. I’m an insensitive git.” As he spoke
he began to punch in the co-ordinates he knew almost by heart now that
would bring the TARDIS into the yard beneath Jackie’s flats, a place
that it appeared so often it was almost taken for granted by the locals.
But the co-ordinate didn’t lock. He frowned and keyed it in again.
It still wouldn’t accept it. He did it a third time, this time starting
to worry. “Come on,” he muttered, punching buttons more and
more frantically. “It’s got to be a glitch. It’s GOT
to be.”
“Rose,” he said, steadying his voice. “This could take
a bit of time. I could murder a hot cup of coffee….”
“What did your last slave die of,” she said with a smile on
her face all the same. “First sewing, now cooking. I don’t
do domestic either, you know.” But she WAS kidding him and she went
to the kitchen still smiling.
He wasn’t panicking. He was a couple of notches below panic yet.
SERIOUSLY worried, bordering on frantic, perhaps. He tried several different
co-ordinates. Cumbria, Ireland, Wales, U.N.I.T. headquarters. None of
them worked. He tried Susan’s home in the future. His hearts gave
a lurch when THAT co-ordinate wouldn’t work. He tried further back
in time. He EVEN tried the old junkyard in Totters Lane. Wow, was THAT
co-ordinate still IN the database? Nothing worked. His level of concern
went up another notch, but he was trying not to panic. He told himself
Time Lords don’t panic.
They do when there’s something to panic about, his inner demons
told him.
He told his inner demons to shut their traps and let him get on with the
job.
Rose came in with the coffee. He took it from her with a dazed, absent
expression. He didn’t even thank her for it. He didn’t even
look at her. He left it on the side of the life support console. Something
he NEVER did. It was dangerous leaving anything liquid on the console.
Rose picked it up again.
He looked up at her finally and the expression on his face told her at
once something was wrong.
“Rose… believe me,” he said. “I would never do
this to you deliberately… not knowing how much you need to be there….
But I’m having trouble setting the co-ordinate for Earth.”
“What?”
“I can’t….” He looked at her again and looked
at the console and the reading the navigation control was insisting upon,
then he turned away, unable to look her in the eye. He punched keys and
swore softly in his own language. Rose put the cups down on the floor
– there was nowhere else to put them – and moved closer to
him. This was starting to unnerve her.
“Doctor…” She touched his arm but he turned away again
from her. He took two steps away from the console and leaned against one
of the coral like pillars that supported the roof. He stood very still,
just like when he was in deep meditation. For nearly five long minutes,
he stood there like that, then his chest heaved as he breathed in and
when he breathed out it was a kind of deep, heart-rending sigh.
Rose realised that he was CRYING. It shocked her. She had seen him cry
before but usually only under the most extreme pressure.
“Doctor? What is it?”
“EARTH isn’t there,” he gasped out through his suppressed
sobs as he turned to her.
“What?” Rose looked at him in disbelief. “How can Earth
NOT be there? That’s impossible.”
“Its gone,” he insisted. “The TARDIS can’t find
its co-ordinates. I have just tried to reach the boys. There’s nothing
there. I can’t even connect with them.”
Rose grabbed her mobile phone and pressed the preset for her mum. It failed
just as it had done before the Doctor used his ‘jiggerypokery’
on it. He took it from her and examined it carefully and as he returned
it to her he was unable to suppress a groan of despair.
“It’s gone. Just like… like Gallifrey.”
“No!” Rose said. “NO!” she screamed in grief.
The Doctor took hold of her and held her tightly in his arms. She clung
equally tightly to him. “Mum,” she cried. “My mum!”
“Susan,” he sobbed. “I thought… I thought Susan
and the children were safe there.”
“Oh!” Rose almost forgot her own grief as she realised what
it meant to him. After not having a family for so long he had got them
back only for this to happen.
“What happened?” she asked. “What is it?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “That’s the worst
of it. I just don’t know.”
He turned to the console, still holding onto Rose tightly. She was, as
far as he could see, the only part of Earth that existed and he didn’t
WANT to let her go. He was AFRAID to let her go.
“We’re in your solar system now,” he said. “And
look….” He brought up a schematic of the solar system and
it was clear that Earth was not there. Between Venus and Mars there was
a huge empty area where Earth should orbit. When he tried to bring the
TARDIS into that sector it seemed to reject the co-ordinate as if it didn’t
exist. Every time he tried to bring it near something pushed the TARDIS
back to the edge of the system. He stopped trying, afraid the forces would
be too much for the ancient engines.
“It didn’t blow up,” he said. “There would be
debris.”
Rose shuddered.
“But it’s still not there. That’s not MUCH consolation.”
“That wasn’t what I meant. Planets blowing up are… well…
NORMAL. This is not normal. This is strange. The planet seems to have
been removed from existence… from history. I’ve been trying
different times – your time, Susan’s time, historical periods.
I can’t lock on in any of them. It’s as if its been erased
from existence.”
“Can that happen?”
“Yes.” The lack of detail to go with that very definite YES
was chilling.
“Then why am I still here? I’m from Earth.”
“You’re in the TARDIS.” He said. “It shields us
from temporal anomalies.”
“So… I only exist in here? If I leave the TARDIS….”
“I don’t know,” The Doctor said again, a control freak
whose life was suddenly beyond his control, out of ideas, frustrated and
grieving deeply. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I DON’T
KNOW!”
He screamed the last and turned abruptly from the console, losing his
footing as he did so and falling awkwardly onto the floor. Instead of
picking himself up again he stayed there.
Rose knew he was crying again. She was scared and grief-stricken and to
see him the same, only ten times worse, frightened her even more. He was
the one she depended on. If he lost it, where did it leave her?
She knelt and put her arms around him. She did understand WHY it affected
him. It was not so long since Gallifrey was destroyed and he lost everyone
in his life but a few fragments of his family on Earth. Now Earth was
gone and he was going through the same grief all over again. He was feeling
it much worse than she was. And she felt like….
Like her world had collapsed.
“We have each other.” She sounded much braver than she was
as she held him around the shoulders and kissed his tear-stained face.
“We’ll always have each other. Even if it means I have to
stay in the TARDIS forever… I’ll do that and be with you.”
“Yes,” he said, looking around at her. “Yes, we have
each other.” His spirits rallied a little, but he did’nt have
the energy to carry him to his feet yet. They were a frozen tableau, clinging
to each other on the TARDIS floor for a long, long time. Neither was entirely
sure how long.
The TARDIS suddenly stopped with a crunch that would have knocked them
over if they were not already on the floor. Almost immediately they were
aware of something strange happening. The Doctor rose to his feet and
lifted Rose with him as a white light filled the TARDIS in front of the
main door.
He stepped forward, shielding Rose against any possible danger with his
own body. As the light became blinding enough for his Gallifreyan eyes
to shield themselves and Rose to glance away, blinking, a figure began
to appear in the midst of it.
The Doctor saw at once that it was dressed in the regalia of the Gallifreyan
High Council. His hearts lurched. How could that be? Gallifrey was dead.
The High Council was dead.
As the apparition solidified, The Doctor stared in disbelief and then,
to Rose’s amazement, he fell to his knees and bowed his head as
she had seen the SangC’lune people do to HIM when they paid homage
to him as their living God. He had told her many times that there were
no gods on Gallifrey. They worshipped nothing and nobody.
“My Lord,” The Doctor said. “I am honoured and humbled
by your presence.”
“Chrístõdavõreendiam?ndh?rtmallõupdracœfiredelunmiancuimhne
de Lœngbærrow…” the apparition said.
“My Lord…” The Doctor said again, deeply affected by
the fact that the apparition knew his name.
“Do not fear. I am pleased with you.”
“I am honoured by your praise,” he said, still bowing his
head.
“Son of Lœngbærrow,” the apparition continued. “Last
and most courageous of the Time Lords; greatest of our race. Stand and
look at me.”
“Sire…” The Doctor did as the apparition said, but almost
reluctantly. “My Lord Rassilon….”
At that Rose understood his behaviour. She wasn’t sure what SHE
ought to do. She wanted to go to him, but this might be something only
he was supposed to be involved in.
“Greatest?” The Doctor said, finding his voice at last. “I
do not mean to question you, My Lord, but I would not claim….”
“Your humility does you credit, Son of Gallifrey,” Rassilon
said. “You are the greatest because you rose above the vices of
our race. Foolish, foolish arrogance, so sure of their own self-righteousness.
The last of the Time Lords is the outcast half-blood. How they fume at
the irony. But perhaps you have the purer hearts after all. You were the
one with the wit to know that you could not stand idly by and let the
universe become a place where evil reigned unchecked. You fought alone
against our enemies for centuries. You alone survived the Time War and
though Gallifrey was destroyed you prevented it from being erased from
time and ensured it was remembered. And you have begun the renewal of
our race with the education of your blood kin.”
“You know about….”
“I know, and I am pleased. The new race of Time Lords will ALL be
half bloods, their DNA fused with that of Human… as yours is, Son
of Gallifrey and Earth. And they will be better for it. Compassion and
humility will temper their arrogance.”
“But….” The Doctor cried out loud as he faced the vision
of Rassilon. “But they are dead. I failed.”
“No,” Rassilon insisted, and The Doctor and Rose both felt
a shred of hope where there had been nothing but despair. “But I
will let another speak. One who is dear to you.”
As Rassilon faded away an elderly man with a white beard and hair stepped
out of thin air and came right up to The Doctor.
“Chrístõ, my son,” the man said and Rose, the
mere spectator in this knew it was no mere figure of speech by the look
on The Doctor’s face. The old man put out a hand and Rose was sure
it would be an illusion, but when his palm touched The Doctor’s
cheek in a caress that seemed familiar – The Doctor touched her
that way often – he raised his hand and put it over the old man’s,
pressing it closer.
“Father,” he whispered hoarsely.
“You have suffered so much,” his father said. “You have
lived so few years by our measurement of time and yet lost so many of
your lives cruelly and painfully. You have seen so much you ought not
to have seen. I am sorry you have hurt so much, my dear boy. But I am
proud of you. Your Human side gives you that courage. We… the purebloods…
we were the cowards. YOU, my son, the half-blood, are the best of us.
And the fates dealt kindly with us by letting you survive our downfall.”
“Father,” The Doctor said again, and in his nine hundred and
fifty year old features there was something of the boy who had loved his
father deeply. “You don’t understand. I failed. Earth is gone.
Our future is gone.”
“No,” his father said. “It is not. It is simply hidden.”
“Hidden?” He heard Rose gasp with relief but he could not
quite let himself believe it yet. “How? Why?”
“To preserve our future,” his father said “Earth has
been hidden behind a time and space envelope strong enough to project
into the past and future and make it invisible to all who would do it
harm. The children will be safe from any malignancy as they grow up on
planet Earth. The planet will not be attacked again by any extra-terrestrial
force.”
“But HOW do I get back there?” he asked. “My TARDIS
can’t find Earth. I can’t REACH the children by telepathy.
Even Rose’s phone won’t work.”
“That was an oversight,” his father admitted. “It will
be rectified. You will have the key to the envelope.”
“I don’t understand,” Rose said coming to The Doctor
and taking his hand in hers. She felt it tremble but he looked at her
with a grateful smile and squeezed her hand in acknowledgement. “You’re
all DEAD.” She looke straight at the apparition of his father. “How
can you do anything?”
“Answer her,” The Doctor told him. “She is entitled
to know as much as I do about this.”
“Yes. We are all dead. Too many of us died unprepared on the Last
Day. But through Rassilon some of us do still have some residual power.
Those of us who had strong telepathic abilities when we were alive still
manage to hold onto a plane of reality. I – as the father of the
one who remains - I am their link to you, my son. The only living Time
Lord.”
“Christopher?” The Doctor looked at his father and asked a
question with that one word that carried far more weight than it appeared.
“Is he… could I see him?” Rose remembered that was the
name he and his wife had called his son by, even though he had a long
traditional Gallifreyan name as well. He wanted to see his son’s
ghost appear before him. But his father’s apparition shook his head
sadly.
“We have never been able to find his essence in any plane or dimension.
I have LOOKED for a long time. I am sorry. But you cared for his child.
You gave her your courage and wisdom and she in her turn has opened the
way for our race to live again.”
“I would have liked to see him again, even as a ghost,” The
Doctor said and he looked terribly sad as he spoke. “But…
what you’re telling me… is that through my great grandchildren…
through Chris and Davie… the Time Lords can live again.”
“Yes. YOU are patriarch of the new dynasty that will rise once more
to greatness in the fullness of time.”
“But how? That would mean that Chris and Davie would have children
of their own eventually who would in turn be Time Lords. But WE can’t
have children with Human women without the technology that died with Gallifrey.
And where ELSE can it happen? You’d better not be talking about
cloning. We are people not pot plants. We cannot be grown from cuttings.
I will have no part in THAT.”
“Rassilon effected some changes when he placed Earth in the time
envelope. He has placed a genetic marker in the Human race. It means first
and foremost that when Humans go into space THEY and their descendents
alone WILL be able to locate the planet of their birth and return to it.
But it also has the secondary effect of making our two races compatible.”
“Rassilon is a wise man,” The Doctor said slowly as this news
sank in. “But he has forgotten two things. First, that means that
Earth – and my children who live on it – are protected from
all species BUT the Human race. Don’t be so sure Humans wouldn’t
wreak enough havoc by themselves. I know them better than you do or Rassilon
for all his wisdom. And second.…” He pressed Rose close to
him as he spoke. “This genetic marker…. We… Rose and
I… were outside the envelope… outside of Rassilon’s
influence?”
“Yes.”
“So what you’re telling me,” The Doctor’s voice
rose in sudden anger. “Is that I could successfully mate with any
woman on Earth… except the one I LOVE and WANT to be with.”
“My son….” his father spoke gently. “You KNOW
you should not even think about such a relationship again. You were hurt
enough the first time.”
“That’s STILL none of your business, father,” he snapped.
“But it’s true, isn’t it?”
“Its true,” his father sighed. “Rose IS the only Human
without that genetic marker because she was here with you, protected by
the TARDIS from all influences and anomalies. But, my son, you misunderstand
why this was done. It was NOT for you. As much as you may long for a second
chance, as much as you grieve for your son who was taken from you, this
is for the FUTURE generations, for Chris and Davie and their children
and their children’s children.”
“That isn’t fair,” The Doctor said.
“I thought I cured you of THAT worthless complaint when you were
ten years old, my boy. The universe is NOT fair. We just have to make
the best of it. And you have - without any help from anyone. But what
you have done is not just for the glory of the House of Lœngbærrow,
it is for the survival of our people through you and your blood.”
“I didn’t do it for any of you,” he said. “I did
it because the boys mean the world to me. That’s all. There was
no great plan.”
“No, but you set one in motion anyway. And it is a great one. Be
proud. In a hundred thousand years your name will be spoken of among the
new Gallifreyans as Rassilon’s was among our people.”
“You think that matters to me?”
“Yes,” his father said. “I think it DOES. More than
you will admit. You were always proud and you were always stubborn.”
“No more than you,” he responded. “We’re two of
a kind.”
“Then let us not fight, my son,” his father answered him in
a gentler voice. “My time is too short. And it has been too long
since we talked.”
“Father…” The Doctor whispered. “I.…”
His words died on his lips, but the apparition of the old man drew closer
again and put his hands either side of The Doctor’s face. He kissed
him on the forehead before fading gently away.
“Wait,” he said in a strangely weak voice. “Wait…
what about the key….”
“I think that’s it,” Rose said pointing. He turned to
see a slowly revolving ‘key’ hanging in mid-air above the
TARDIS console. It was a shield-shaped object about a foot long, made
of a grey metal that caught the light as it turned to show that it bore
the seal of Rassilon on both sides.
Both of them reached for it at once and as their hands touched it, it
disappeared, but they felt the jolt like an electric shock. At the same
moment Rose’s mobile phone began ringing insistently and The Doctor
winced as he felt the telepathic communication with Chris and Davie opened
up and both boys began talking to him at once.
Rose answered her phone. The Doctor grasped hold of a pillar and focussed
his mind on replying to the children. Meanwhile, without them even realising,
the TARDIS locked onto the co-ordinate for London in Rose’s time
and had landed in the yard behind the flats.
“I don’t know about you,” The Doctor said when he DID
realise. “But I could really use a cup of tea at your mum’s.”
“Oh, me too,” Rose said. “Are you all right?”
She looked at him with more than casual concern. He still looked totally
wrecked from the emotional wringer he had gone through in the past few
hours.
“I have a lot to think about,” he said. “So do you.
Later, we should talk. There is much that was said that you are entitled
to explanations for. But right now….”
“Tea,” Rose said insistently. “Come on.”
Jackie was glad to see her, of course. She was even civil to The Doctor.
She made tea and small talk, and after the day they’d had small
talk was as much as they could manage. Jackie couldn’t fail to notice
that except when they were eating they held hands tightly. They sat together
on the sofa and The Doctor kept his arm around Rose’s shoulder.
Jackie wondered what was behind it. When they arrived they BOTH looked
as if they had been upset somehow. She wondered at first if they’d
been rowing. But the looks that passed between them and the hand holds
weren’t the sort of thing she expected in the aftermath of a row,
and at bedtime she very firmly laid down the law about where everyone
would sleep. The Doctor was strictly confined to the sofa and not allowed
anywhere near Rose’s room.
But she didn’t say Rose had to stay away from the sofa, and as he
lay quietly, though not sleeping, because he didn’t need or want
to sleep, she slipped back to the living room.
He half sat up propped against the sofa back as she sat next to him. She
laid her head on his chest and listened to his heartsbeat, one hand over
his left heart.
“You told your father you love me and want to be with me,”
she said, bringing up one of the most central issues of many they needed
to talk about.
“Yes,” he said. “You know I love you, Rose. And I know
you love me. And I want you in my life for as long as that is possible.”
“Even though it’s impossible for us to be REALLY together?”
“We ARE really together,” he said, holding her closer in his
arms. “There isn’t much more together we could be.”
“Yes there is. And you know it. What you said about being able to
mate with any other woman on Earth but me….”
“Lousy choice of words. ‘Mate’ – I’m not
some endangered species that has to be in a breeding programme.”
“Well… you ARE though,” she said. “And…
Well….”
“Rose…” he said warningly. “I know what you’re
thinking. Don’t….”
“Even if I don’t have the genetic marker, we could TRY couldn’t
we? It’s not impossible. You had a Human mother, and your wife….”
“It’s too dangerous,” he said. “I never told you…
or anyone…. But my mother died too young because of the strain on
her heart of carrying and giving birth to me. I don’t know the whole
of it, you understand. My role in these things was somewhat passive. But
she was left a virtual invalid afterwards, hardly able to walk unaided,
short of breath, weak… She died when I was just a youngster. My
father was torn apart by losing her. And I ought to have learnt the lesson
from that but I WAS an idiot. I went right out there and fell in love
with Julia. They had come up with some solutions to the difficulties by
then. There were drugs available that, if administered daily, allowed
a Human woman to carry a Gallifreyan baby the full sixteen months. But
it was still difficult. The strain, especially in the last months, was
dreadful. I looked at her every day and hated myself for the pain I had
caused her through my ambition to have an heir to our line. She went through
hell for two solid days to bring my son into the world, and it messed
her up so much we knew she could never have another baby.” He paused
and looked at Rose. “We no longer have the drugs or the medical
knowledge. All that was lost with Gallifrey.”
“I would be willing to try,” she said.
“I’m not willing to risk it. Your mother would kill ME,”
he said. “I promised to keep you from harm. I do not mean to inflict
harm on you for my own satisfaction.”
“Its not fair,” Rose said.
“My father was right about THAT. Life isn’t fair. The universe
isn’t fair. It trips us up at every opportunity. And as if that
wasn’t hard enough… I know it’s the one reason you might
want, at some time, to leave me. So that you can have what any woman WOULD
want, the one thing I CAN’T give you.”
“No,” she said. “If never having a baby of my own is
the price I have to pay to be with you then I am willing to pay it. He
said that you weren’t destined to be a father again. Ok. But he
didn’t say we weren’t destined to be together. We have a good
thing going. And I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“Oh, Rose!” In the darkened room he knew she couldn’t
properly see him, but he could see her and he saw the tears in the corner
of her eyes. The decision was a hard one for her. But she had made it,
and for all the selfish reasons that made him want to keep her with him
he couldn’t stop a smile coming to his lips.
“All right. I accept that for the time being. But… if you
should regret that promise… if you DO feel that need… I won’t
hold you back. That’s MY promise to you.”
He meant it. But as hard as her decision was now, he knew he would have
to make as much of a sacrifice for her if she DID decide her priorities
should be different.
“I won’t,” she said. “I want to be with you, no
matter what else I have to give up.” She wrapped her arms about
him and held him as close as she could.
“It was strange though,” she said as she lay there. “Rassilon
appearing like that. And you… I never thought there was anyone you
would bow to.”
“Rassilon is the only man I DO bow to. Oh, it was a shock. We all
know his face, of course. It's imprinted on us. And there were statues,
icons. But to see him there before me – even though I know it was
just a psychic projection – My Lord and Creator telling me to stand
and look at him – as an equal. That was pretty incredible. Then
my father telling me that in the future MY name will be whispered with
the same awe. I NEEDED some of Jackie’s cooking and a night on this
bloody uncomfortable sofa to bring me back to reality, I can tell you
that.”
“I wonder WHAT name they will whisper in a hundred thousand years,”
Rose said. “I hope it's the short version or their religious ceremonies
will be VERY tedious.”
The Doctor burst out laughing.
“Oh, I definitely need a dose of Tyler logic now and then to keep
me sane.” He sighed and hugged her again. “It was good seeing
my father again. Even like that. I wish I could have seen my Christopher,
too.”
“Your son.”
“Yes. I was so proud of him. He… if he’d lived…
he’d have been a greater figure in our Gallifreyan society than
either me or my father. He was brilliant. Disciplines I struggled to succeed
in came easy to him and those I was best at he surpassed me. And unlike
me he actually CARED about our political system. He had so much to give.
But stupid, stupid, petty jealousies destroyed him so utterly that even
the ghosts of our people cannot feel any part of his existence among them.
It’s as if he is BEYOND dead.”
“Or maybe NOT dead?” Rose said. “Is it possible? If
his spirit isn’t among them….”
The Doctor looked at her for a moment and his hearts twanged with a new
and startling possibility. “No. It can’t be,” he said
after a long pause. “The pyramid was black.”
That settled it then. Christopher WAS dead. So dead even the ghosts didn’t
know where to find him. THAT was possibly the saddest part of the web
of inter-related tragedies that was The Doctor’s life.
Rose remembered when she first met him, how reluctant he had been to tell
her anything about himself, and how slowly it had all come out, piece
by painful piece as she gained his trust and love. She wondered if she
knew all his secrets even now, and doubted it.
“Your father was worried about you,” she said presently.
“Yes, I know,” The Doctor sighed.
“He didn’t want you to be with me. He ought to swap notes
with my mum.”
“Yes,” The Doctor laughed. Though he knew his father’s
reasons were more logical than Jackie’s. He didn’t want him
grieving sixty years or so from now when his beautiful Rose was an elderly
woman dying on him. His reason made sense.
“You shouldn’t have been mad at him when he went away,”
Rose told him. “Even if he IS already dead, you shouldn’t
have done that. You should have told him you loved him. You don’t
know if you will ever have a chance to try again.”
“It used to be different when I was younger. We… drifted.
Bitterness set in. It feels like every conversation we’ve had in
five hundred years has been that way. I guess him being dead doesn’t
change anything.”
Of course they didn’t need words. When his father had put his hands
on his face and kissed him, a million emotions, love strongest of all,
had passed between them both in a heartsbeat. But Rose was right. He SHOULD
have said it. He should have said it EVERY time they had spoken in the
past five centuries.
“And you lot think you’re a superior intellect? You’re
no better than us when it comes to relationships.”
“You’re right there,” The Doctor laughed again and hugged
her tightly. “WE do okay though, don’t we? We haven’t
had too many domestics in the TARDIS.”
“Only because I’d slap you one if you started,” Rose
said. But it was true. The TARDIS had been her home for three years now
and they had spent as much time together, maybe more, as any married couple.
They NEVER had any problems that weren’t over as soon as they began.
They WERE made for each other.
“Go on now, Rose,” he told her after holding
her for a little longer. “Away to bed and get some sleep. You’ve
an important day tomorrow. You should sleep.” He gave her one tender
goodnight kiss before she went to her bed and he lay down again feeling
that, if some things were not entirely resolved, they were settled for
now.